Having a baby is a beautiful, happy moment- Along with the happy moments, there’s a lot of parents that have to experience the dark and painful side to things. To them, it’s holding a child that they’ll never watch grow. It’s kissing a pair of lips that’ll never move to kiss them back. It’s longing to breast feed her child but can’t because the baby has a feeding tube down their throat. It’s trying to comfort a uncontrollably crying baby. It’s whispering ‘I love you’ while your baby whimpers, one last time.
It’s remaining strong even though you have no more strength to do so.
You see, it is not always happy beginnings.
While I’ve dealt with losses too heavy for my heart to carry, I’ve also been handed great blessings. With them, that is where my story begins.
Day 14: #birthstories
Alicia: On January 17, 2012 at approximately 3:30 a.m., I woke up to use the bathroom. Realizing that the urge to go was just a heavy amount of pressure from my baby; Who, at the time, was 3 days late. So, I got up- only to discover that I was bleeding. I slowly sat back down. My eyes as big as softballs because I knew that this was it; It was time. Finally, I get up and wake my husband (now ex-husband). He was scared to death because all he heard me say was, “bleeding”.
We were out the door in a jiffy and on our way! 45 minutes and a heart attack later (he was a terrible driver), we made it to the hospital. They hooked me up, swabbed me- all that fun pregnancy/labor stuff. While we waited to hear if I was in labor or not, my mom and sister show up. Tickled, I told them that they should’ve waited because we didn’t know if it was a false alarm or not. Michaela, my sister, already knew that I wouldn’t be going anywhere; and, she was right!
They got the rest of my IV’s hooked up and rolled me to another room. The room that I would endure 18 hours of difficult and terrifying labor. The room I wasn’t sure I’d ever come out of- alive.
Everything was going smoothly until about 8 hours into labor. Everything just started getting weird. I was having the hardest time breathing, I felt light headed. Why is my monitor going crazy? Why are there Dr.’s swarming around me? Where’s my family? What’s wrong with my daughter?!
Thankfully, my amazing and hard working nurse stood there beside me and once everything became stabled again- she explained what had happened. Alicia suddenly went into fetal distress because of how I was laying. I felt relieved and terrible at the same time. Time slowly ticked by. I was beginning to feel worse and worse, until finally- hallelujah, it was time to push.
DON’T WORRY, I WONT GO INTO THE GORRY DETAILS OF WHAT HAPPENED DURING THAT TIME. 45 minutes later, there she was. Head full of hair, chunky as could be, the most beautiful baby that I had ever laid my eyes on. My sweet baby, my daughter. 9 LBS 7.9 OZ’s & 21 inches long.
“You’re going to feel a lot of pressure. We are trying to get your placenta out.”, explained one of the nurses.- ……did I just have another baby?!
“What’s wrong with her? Is she ok?” My sister was trying to be calm but I could tell she was panicking.
“Here, go to mommy.” My mom placed Alicia in my arms. I couldn’t hold her. Something was wrong. The room starts spinning.
“SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER!” I could really hear it then, the panic in my sisters voice. “Her blood count is too low. She’s hemorrhaging.”
More IV’s, great. At that point all I wanted was something to eat and drink & to hold my baby. Finally, my count was coming back up, just not enough on its own. I ended up having to have a blood transfusion. Once it was all done and I was back to normal, I got to hold my baby girl. My perfect, precious, beautiful, loving baby girl. Everything was going to be just fine.
Amanda: October 2, 2012 @ 9:00 a.m. I was headed to the hospital to have my second baby girl. Only difference, I was being induced. Once there, we were told that we would have to wait on a room. You’re not going to believe this, but once we walked around the corner and seen what room we were getting- I think I may have had a slight panic attack. It was the same room that I had Alicia in a year earlier.
It was almost 11 before we finally got in the room. Once all the routine paperwork and whatnot was complete- they began hooking my IV’s up. At 12:08 p.m. we were fully hooked up and patiently waited for baby Amanda to make her debut.
2 panic attacks, bag full of puke and an cry baby episode later- I began having a lot of heavy pressure on my butt. Ah, I remember that feeling. “I need to push” My nurse looked at me, looked at my screen and replied, “you’re just having contractions, see.”
“Ok, that may be so, but I really feel like I need to push.” She checks me and whispers, “Whatever you do, DO NOT PUSH!” She darted out of the room and quickly returned with my Dr. He checks me, smiles, and asked me a question that I was more than ready to answer, “Are you ready to have this baby?!”
Refusing to go through what I went through the year before, I put my game face on and I got ready to PUSH! It’s 3:05 p.m.. Alright, here we go! PUSH 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 EASE UP, TAKE A BREATH & 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10 EASE UP, TAKE A BREATH & 1-2-3-4-5-6….. Amanda made her appearance at 3:08 p.m.. Weighing 7 LBS 7.9 OZ’s 19 inches long. She came out kicking and screaming. Seriously, she was screaming to the top of her little lungs and I loved every bit of it (3 years later with a squeakier voice, not so much). She’s has definitely been a little ray of sunshine. Alicia and Amanda, my girls. Could life get any better?
Jacob: Let’s see if I can cover this whole experience, seems how it happened so fast. April 30, 2016. It was somewhere between 12:30 and 1:00 P.M.. I had just told Alicia and Amanda to lay down for a quick nap so I could rest, too. Doing as they were told, they laid down. I decided to go ahead and mop their bathroom floors. As soon as I go behind their bathroom door to mop, I felt like I was peeing on myself- except, I wasn’t! Ok, this is the first time my water had broken on its own. Super shocked and super scared- I called everyone and their mama before I called Ray. I was having a hard time comprehending that my water had just broke….while I was mopping; ironic, huh? Finally, I called Ray; No answer. Called him again; N0thing. “OHHH CRAP! Is this really happening? RIGHT NOW?” 5 minutes later he texts, “Eating lunch, what’s up?”
Me, “Oh nothing, just sitting here. Um, my water just broke.” Needless to say, he was home as quick as lightning. Upon loading the truck up, he was asking me a million questions- “Are you sure you wasn’t peeing on yourself? Is it REALLY time? How long will it be before he gets here?” Me, “If you don’t SHUT UP…..”
Driving to the hospital, it seemed like everyone wanted to be extra slow that day. Nobody would get out of the way. An hour later, actually- it felt like HOURS later, we arrived and sure enough, IT WAS TIME. It was 3: something P.M. when we got there, I had Jacob at 6:45 P.M.
Labor was smooth as m0llasis and as quick as a fox. Nothing complicated about it at all. Jacob weighed 7 LBS 15OZs 21IN- born 2 weeks early. Good grief. Imagine how much he might have weighed had I made it to 40 weeks.
Baby #4: Yes, I finally was able to see a Dr. & was told the gender.
Everyone, say “Hello” to Miss Brooklyn Michelle!
Our hearts are overflowing with joy and we can’t wait to meet and hold her in July.