Today has been in every way imaginable, nerve racking. Seriously. My fragile child that I spoke of yesterday, yeah, I’m going to place an order for bubble wrap. Tons and tons of bubble wrap. Needless to say, my anxiety has been through the roof!! I accomplished none of my house chores because every minute (or so it seemed) something was happening. Thank heavens, it is now BEDTIME! Carrying on……
In my devotional for today, it was talking about how we should be aware of the foes. “Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world. – 1 John 4:1″
Most people know of someone that fits that category. All we can do is pray. Most of all we should pray for strength, so we don’t become a part of that description. If we continue to spread love and truth, we are the light of the world. Just something to stop and think about.
And, now, for today’s challenge!
Day 6: #momfriends
As I have mentioned a few times, I am so lucky to be surrounded by a new group of mommy friends. However, tonight, there’s a particular someone that is weighing heavily on my heart. She was and will always be the literal definition of a true friend.
Her name is Susie. Gosh, she was a blessing. If she was still alive, I know she would have helped me with the kids, today, in a heartbeat. She always did. My girls loved her, as did I. Susie was the type of person who would give drop everything and help someone. Even if that someone just done her wrong an hour prior of needing her help- I say that because I have actually witnessed her doing so.
Yes, she made some of the dumbest decisions I’ve ever seen someone make- More times than one! That’s just who she was. It touches my heart to know that before she passed she was trying to live her life for the Lord.
The last time I had talked to Susie was 2 days before the accident. She was asking about my son, who was only a month old at the time. Saying she couldn’t wait to get her hands on him and give him bunches of loving. Also, how she missed the girls and couldn’t wait to see all of us. We even made plans to grill out.
June 11, 2016: The kids and I had all woke up around 6:30 or so that morning. I remember feeding Jacob and laying him back down. When, all of the sudden, I felt like I couldn’t breath. I just figured I was having a random anxiety attack; so, I laid back down. About 15 minutes after my episode, I get a phone call from my dad. Something was wrong.
All he told me, then, was that there had been an accident and the interstate was shut down. Said that he just turned around and took his helper, Joey, home. Joey was Susie’s fiancé. So, I sat there, assuming that because traffic was just too bad, they had to wait to go in later- I was wrong. It was then that he told me the most heart crushing news. “Kayla, baby, Susie was in that accident. She didn’t make it. That’s why I had to bring Joey home.”…. Silence.
What more could he say? After we hung up, I hit the floor screaming and crying. “Please, God! Please, just let this all be a bad dream…”- Later on, reality sank in. This was real. She was really gone.
On the day of her funeral, it was pouring rain. It was raining just as fast and hard as the tears that were falling down my face. Being there and not being able to see her one last time, was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Time passed and I said good-bye to one of my best friends.
That was it, just like that. It was over.
Headed back home, I felt like a zombie. I was angry, confused, sad- just asking all the wrong questions! Then a song came on the radio called, “Thy Will be Done”; again, I lost it. It felt like someone was trying to tell me something. Finally, the rain ceased and the sun began to shine. Wouldn’t you believe that over our beautiful town, was a rainbow? Susie got her rainbow! I just had a sense of relief. I knew she was ok.
Though, the heartache still remains and I think of my dear friend often; I am so glad that I got to share such a sweet friendship with her. She truly is an angel.