“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  1 Corinthians 13: 4-7”

For the past few weeks, my sweetheart and I have been walking on rough waters. Lord knows it has definitely been tough. Lord also knows, I love him- with everything in me. While it hurts to forgive, I know it’s the right thing to do. When Ray and I first met, we were just 2 hurt and lost individuals with so much love to give. After helping pick each other up, we felt connected. That connection grew stronger everyday, after that.    Regardless of a sinful decision, no matter what, I choose to love him.

Nothing could explain my love better than an experience I had this past Sunday at church. And this challenge could have not came at a better time-

Day 15: #hubbylove

On the Sunday before Valentines day, our pastor had preached on Ephesians 5. It was part 1 of the 2 part series. The message was based on how wives should treat and love their wives. Ray was able to attend that service with me before he left back out of town. The next weekend was supposed to be part 2. Due to us having a guest speaker, our pastor decided to put it off for this past Sunday.

Ray was still out of town.

Finally, the day for Part 2 on Ephesians 5- How husbands should treat and love their wives. As our preacher preached God’s word, I felt a presence. I kept looking around me. Almost like I was expecting someone. I stayed focus on what was being taught and I prayed. I prayed that though Ray wasn’t there physically, that God would place today’s message on his heart.    There went that feeling again. I kept looking over my shoulder to the back of the church and scoping the place out. At this point I am a little nervous. Finally, I shook it off because I refused to have any kind of fear consume me while I was in my safe haven- my church.

The message was beautiful. Our pastor did an amazing job on teaching us God’s word and what God has really intended for us to do. Needless to say, I was sad that my husband wasn’t there. He should have been there. He should have heard that message.

The service was closed with a prayer and it was time to go.   WHY AM I STILL GETTING WEIRD FEELINGS?!   Sadly, my anxiety kicks in and I just wanted to get the kids and go.  I stop to get Jacob before going to get the girls.   He was not a happy baby, at all! Fighting sleep, he arched his back and stiffened up, refusing to let me put him in his car seat. I sat down in the rocking chair and held him to my chest to calm him down so we could go. Then I glance up.

    Wha- Oh my gosh.    Ray was standing there. Right there! In the doorway to the nursery. The crew he was working with had left to come home earlier than he thought. He told me it would be late that night before he’d be home because he wanted to surprise me.  16 days without seeing him and there he was unannounced….just like a dream- I cried. I knew from THAT moment in particular, that without a doubt, I love that man. I love my husband.

The reason this moment is so special to me is because: 1) I felt his presence- just didn’t know it was him, yet. 2) even though it’s been rough- I still cried for him, out of love. 3) He hurried home because he wanted to surprise me. 4) I didn’t walk to him, I didn’t move in to give him a hug or kiss….he came to me. HE put in the effort this time.

Love is something you SHOW, not something you SAY.

Ray definitely reminded me of all the reasons why I fell in love with him. I love him for the beautiful mess he is.   He’s leaving in the morning to head back out of town to work for another 2 weeks and my heart is aching thinking about it. I know that when he gets back, our love will be even stronger.

He truly is my better half. My forever.

-Kayla Diane