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Challenges & Change

Challenge: day 5

Today is my 5th day doing my challenge and I really feel somewhat of a difference. I have found something to do, that I sincerely enjoy.

I woke up a little late and I felt behind- like I’ve missed half of the day. When in reality, I only slept an hour late (7:00 am). I knew what I needed, so, I got up and read my devotional.     “Just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.- Isaiah 55:9” As I read that verse, all I could think about was my eternal life with Jesus. I know that the verse and my thought do not really go hand in hand, but once I explain my reasoning- I’m sure you’ll get it.

In my life, I have made some amazing friends. They were/are absolutely fun to be around. However, their walk with the Lord isn’t very straight, just as mine wasn’t. We didn’t really stop to think about it because we seemed to be having too much fun doing other stuff. Now that I have moved 2 hours away from them, I’ve met some new friends. Friends that walk with the Lord. Regardless of how others walk, NOBODY on this earth is going to determine if I go to heaven or hell.

He is always higher, He’s the true friend that I need to follow. Him.

I know He looks down on me, often, shaking His head; All while showing me unconditional love.

 

Day 5: #lovethiskid

Just like there are some Christians who are living according to His word and there are some that are having trouble staying on track.- Our Father loves us all the same….some of us need a tad bit more guidance and discipline.

You’ve read about Alicia and Jacob (my oldest and youngest); However, I haven’t really spoken much about my middle child. There’s so much I could tell you about her but to keep it brief, she’s sweet and feisty- scratch that. Words can not describe this baby. She truly is one of a kind. I just felt compelled to talk about her today.

Starting off, Amanda is 3. She’s my petite, aka fragile, child. She’s given me more mini-heart attacks than most would like to endure. Unlike my other 2, I have to really hawk over her.

She tries so hard to do good but she also slips and causes more trouble than necessary. That’s where guidance and discipline, from me, comes into play. Handling her with care, I explain to her what went wrong and where she went wrong. Everyday, we go through this.  That’s just part of it! She needs me and I love her. While some days are better than others, I know that my love and patience is helping her overcome her hardest moments. No, I don’t always help her; There are some things that she just has to learn on her own- tough love.

Through it all, I absolutely love this kid.

 

-Kayla Diane

 

 

 

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Challenge: day 4

The kids and I have never been to church on a Wednesday. We’ve just recently started getting involved. Anyways, I decided to go last night. I loved it- well, what I got to hear of it. While the girls were in children’s church, I had Jacob (my youngest- 9 months) with me in class. Next time I will be better prepared to keep him entertained.

When church was over, the girls came into the room while I was putting Jacob in his car seat. They were caffeinated, or so it seemed. Running, crawling, jumping everywhere. I couldn’t help but get tickled but it was time to go home. Instead of listening to me, they just kept on doing their on little thing. Again, I ushered them to come. I guess you can figure out that I had to use my stern voice.

Finally, they listened. While loading into the truck they was talking 90 to nothing. I couldn’t understand anything they were saying! At this point, I just wanted to get home and get them in bed.

This Morning: We got up and I did my usual routine. When it came time to  read my challenge for today, I just shook my head.

DAY 4: #kidsarecrazy

Ironic, right?! My kids are nothing short of crazy. They’re crazy funny, then they’re ‘Cray-Cray’. They act crazy and they drive my crazy.

It seems that as soon as I opened my eyes, the girls were already fighting and tattle telling on each other. Every 5 seconds! I hadn’t even had my coffee, yet!! Honestly, that’s how most of my mornings start. When I say that I have to have a whole lot of coffee and even more of Jesus to get me through the day, I am not lying!!

Also, I’d like to throw in something. It sort of takes away from what I am supposed to be writing about; but, then again, it adds to it. Every morning I read my family devotional. My memory verse for today is- “Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! your workmanship is marvelous- and how well I know it.- Psalm 139:14”. The devotional goes on to talk about how we all are wonderfully made, everything about us.

Needless to say, I truly believe I was meant to complete this challenge.

Even when I am weary, I love my crazy kids. Once baby #4 gets here, my crazy household will be complete. I tell you folks, God knows EXACTLY what he’s doing!

-Kayla Diane

 

Challenge Accepted

Have you ever just been so overwhelmed that you’re almost certain that you’re going to die?! HAVE YOU?! Yeah, I thought so. It is, legit, an everyday thing for me. I have 3 kids with another big bundle of joy on the way- 2 girls, 1 boy and unknown (for now).

Rewind 2 weeks ago- I have been battling depression and anxiety so bad that I have started lose touch with myself and my family. I’m slowly, but surely, picking all the pieces up and gluing them back together. Though, it seems I am using just a cheap old glue stick- It’s a start!

Fast forward to now-

Recently, I’ve met some amazing women in my area, in which I am new, and  I could not be more thankful because I feel that I met them at just the right time. —is that a light, I see, at the end of the tunnel?? Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, they have children, too! It’s a miracle, seriously! Oh, and in just these past few days I have felt AH-MAZ-ING! No panic attacks, no anxiety attacks, no laying around on the couch, no complaining. I feel like a brand new person. I feel as if a huge burden was lifted off of me. I’m still not completely better. Every step is a challenge for me.

Challenge Accepted!

-Kayla Diane

Challenge: day 1

Besides this MAJOR challenge, I have a simple one that I would love to try out that I found on Pinterest.

’31 Days of Journal Prompts for moms’

I wanted to pursue this challenge just for the simple fact that, I love my children and I need to learn to embrace the joys, once more. So, here goes.

DAY 1: #parentingadvice

Ha! I absolutely can not give any parenting advice. However, what I can do is tell you that you better have a lot of love for coffee and Jesus! Kids will be kids. Every child is different and needs different attention. NEVER A DIFFERENT LOVE, just different attention. I don’t care how much you say you love your child, they WILL get on your nerves at time.

If you’re reading this and saying amongst yourself that I am, in fact, WRONG- please, give me your secret!

Oh, and also, NEVER EVER pray for patience. *my opinion*  Because you’ll get what you ask for. What could possibly be wrong with that, then? Well, simply put- patience is something that is earned, not given. Meaning, you’ll be tested to your limits. So, if you’re praying for patience, you’re already on the edge- then you’re going to be tested and….oh, would you lookie there, you just jumped off that edge! Instead, try praying for the ability to know when you just need to walk to the other room and lock the door. Yes, the child(ren) will follow you and cry- seriously, cover your ears, breath and pray.

I just had another overwhelmingly heavy weight lifted off my chest. I basically just preached something that I, obviously, needed to hear.

&& that folks, is my “Parenting Advice” Coffee Jesus, and pray not for patience, but for knowledge. Until next time, my friends, stay blessed.

 

 

-Kayla Diane

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Challenge: day 2

My sweetheart has just started working out of town for 2 weeks at a time. That leaves me by myself with all 3 kids until he comes home. Thankfully, God has blessed us with an amazing new church family. So, I’m not really alone after all!

This morning, I drank my coffee (yes, I am pregnant and I still drink coffee) and began to read my devotional for the day. My memory verse for today is, “Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant. – Matthew 20:26″.  That really hit my heart. It made me stop and think if I was setting the right example for my children. Was I showing them how to help others or just how to help themselves?

After nap time, I am going  to take them outside and let us clean the yard. Now,  I know that’s not really helping anyone else, other than myself. But, if I can show them how to help and do something with a humble heart, then maybe they’ll have that same outlook when helping others. If you’re not serving God with a humble heart, you’re only serving yourself.

It’s hard to raise my children in the way of the Lord. Simply because I know, at times, I am not being a mother with a humble heart. I let anger, frustration and negativity consume me; I forget to look at the little things, sit back, and smile. I forget to serve my sweet children with a humble heart.

This leads to my next challenge story:

 

#kidsarefunny

Thinking over all of the funniest moments I have witnessed from my children, it’s hard to pick which one to share. But, because motherhood can be funny and ugly at the same time, I wanted to share a moment that happened recently with my oldest daughter, Alicia (5).

She was having one of those, “I am a diva so I don’t have to listen to anything mama says” days. She was so ill about everything, and I MEAN EVERYHING! Her attitude became so aggravating that I just made her go to her room. At least there she could pop off under her breath and I wouldn’t hear it. That lasted a total of, maybe, 7 minutes.

She proceeds to start biting everything. By this time I am on the verge of just flipping my switch; Still, slowly, I kept breathing. Suddenly, she screams, “I’m gonna bite Amanda’s shoe!!!”   -Oh, little child of mine. Needless to say, she bit it.

The funny part: It rained the night before so there was mud stuck on the bottom of Amanda’s shoe. I’m sure you’ve figured out what happened next- it got in Alicia’s mouth. She, at the time, thinks that it’s dog poop! “MAMA!!! PLEASE, GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!! *gag* I’M GOING TO THROW UP *gag*. MAAAAAMMMAAAA!!”. Crying, screaming, running around with her tongue hanging out- she’s in complete FREAK OUT mode! Just imagine. A kid with mud in her mouth, thinking it’s dog poop. *** I’ll let that image sink in***

So, just in case you’re wondering what I did. I laughed. Laughed so hard ’til it hurt!!  After splitting my sides, I calmed her down and explained to her that it was only mud and that she was going to be just fine. We got her mouth washed out, everything went back to normal. Even her attitude.

OUTCOME:

I humbly helped her- with love and understanding; because, I seen a glimpse of beauty in even the roughest of times.Though, she turned against me for a moment; She knew I’d be there, no matter what. The same as Jesus has done for me, too. Time and time again.

Forever & always.

-Kayla Diane

 

 

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Challenge: day 3

Yesterday, I did something I fear most.-  Taking all 3 kids to Wal-Mart, by myself.  Long story short, I had an anxiety attack.

I have never felt so worthless, ever. It got so bad that an elderly lady came and put her hands on me and calmly said, “Honey, everything is going to be alright.” Her kind, yet simple, gesture soothed me. Everything, in fact, is going to be fine.

What triggered my attack? My 3 year old daughter. She completely showed out over, drum roll please, GUM! Yes, that’s all. Gum. Her tantrum caused so much commotion and I couldn’t calm her down. I should’ve popped her, yes. But, hear me out; I wasn’t in the right state of mind to pop my child. My emotions were between angry, embarrassed, upset, overwhelmed. Had I decided to pop her, it would’ve been out of my emotions, not out of discipline. I’m not a perfect parent. I do my best to realize the right and wrong ways of punishing my children.

I’m here to tell you something, that most won’t:

Parenting is hard. Mom life, is hard.

Day 3: #momlife

It’s nothing short of ugly. That’s just the cold hard truth. You can love your kids with all of your heart and soul but it’s still going to be ugly. It’s when you become a mom that you find your weaknesses. It’s when you find your flaws. It’s when you discover just how much patience you don’t have.

THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL:

No matter how distressing  it may get, that child of yours will always love you- ALWAYS! Even your most unpleasant traits, that precious soul will adore. That’s what true love is. The love of a child.

At the end of the day, all you can do is pray for forgiveness and the strength to do better with each minute that passes.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me.- Psalm 51:10”

I see you, mama. I see your tears, you’re breaking down. Don’t be worried about being good enough- Because, you’re great. Having a breakdown means you’re trying. You’re doing the best you can and fearing that it’s not enough. Stay strong. In the end, it’ll all be worth it. Everything is, in fact, going to be just fine!

 

-Kayla Diane

 

 

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